Like Gabrielle Union and Kim Kardashian, singer Kandi Burruss decided to be very open about her difficulties in conceiving children and her decision to find a surrogate mother to have her child.
It’s been about a month since Kandi and her husband, Todd Tucker, welcomed their adorable baby girl, Blaze Tucker, with the help of their surrogate mother, Shadina Blunt.
Atlanta Real Housewives star and Xscape singer recently shared a video on YouTube where she spoke about the criticism and judgment she endured from family members who belittled her for not being able to carry her child.
The 43-year-old businesswoman said, “There was a time when I felt guilty. I had a little tears in my eyes because there was a member of my family, they just texted me when they found out for the first time that I was thinking about a surrogate mother, and they said, “I mean … why do you want to have a surrogate mother?” Don’t you just want to carry the baby by yourself? “It was by text message. I replied and said to myself,” Well, I would if I could, but I had problems with childbirth during my last pregnancy. “They were like : “Don’t you want to be able to bond with your baby? Other things like,” Why don’t you ask a family member to help you? “It was a lot, and I was like, okay, a family member (laughs). “
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First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes the baby in the pram. At least that’s what most of us learn, but no one ever shares the fact that the trip to the pram can come with sadness, doubts, and obstacles to fertility. My first daughter, Riley, was conceived and born in the world as easily as possible. I did not know that 13 years later, when I wanted to continue this story, I would be faced with the struggle of infertility due to non-cancerous fibroids. My pregnancy with Ace resulted in many complications, which is why our family decided to use a surrogate mother (photo here!). When we looked at this, I went through a series of emotions and questions like: how will this affect my bond with my child? what if the surrogate tries to keep my baby? what will the others think? Will the baby share DNA with the pregnant mother even if it is my eggs? Looking back, I would have liked to have an app like @peanut. It is a place to meet witty women, chat and share advice. @Peanut is an application for mothers, pregnant women and those who are trying to conceive (thank God !!). As a woman, I am so happy to have found @peanut and I encourage you to join us and ask for help through this platform. I had an incredible husband to lean on, and my surrogate mother was so supportive, but it was great to talk to other women who really understand my fears and pain firsthand. All in all, I have to say to each of you: your journey to the stroller may not be the same as that of someone else, but you are not alone in this journey to motherhood . #peanutapp
The host explained: “She hurt me. I don’t think she wanted to hurt my feelings at the time. I love her to death, so I don’t think she was deliberately trying to hurt my feelings, but you have to understand that so many people just have problems with the idea of surrogacy. There are people like that who automatically have their thoughts on surrogacy, and they see it negatively. “
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Kandi went on to say that she was satisfied with her decision and that she was in love with her little girl: “I do not regret the decision we made,” she said. “It turned out to be a good thing for us. We also have a new friend! “
Shadina revealed that people view surrogacy negatively because it is something they do not yet understand.