Your 2022 fantasy NBA season doesn’t start until you have a good fantasy basketball name. Of course, you can crush your design thanks to dynamite rankings, a well-made sleeper list, and an extensive cheat sheet, but until you make your friends chuckle or wink a little with a funny, smart, offensive, or current team name, it’s just not a basketball season.
As we point out every year, to be a list of the “best names on the fantasy basketball team,” we should include inappropriate things that we can’t possibly publish here. Inside jokes that are only relevant to others in your league are also a good way to go, and of course, we can’t help you there. Instead, we shoot puns based on player names. Some are decent, and many are wrong. You don’t get much. That’s fine, and I don’t need it. We’re volume shooters here. Please think of us as Dion Waiters. Not all of them are going to get swaggering, but those who do. Man, they’re beautiful. Those are the ones you tell your grandchildren about.
Ultimately, the purpose of this list is not to provide you with a ready-made gem. It’s to inspire you to think about yourself because you’re better than this one. It’s one of those give-a-man-a-fish-teach-a-man fishing things. Let one of our bad puns help you come up with a good one. After you win your competition, you know where it all started.
NBA: The Best Fantasy Basketball Team Names for 2022
ZION WILLIAMSON
Zion Kings
JA MORANT
Ja Rules
Moranting and Raving
JOE INGLES
Ingles All the Way
KYRIE IRVING
Cobra Kyrie
LEBRON JAMES
The James Gang
Brains and LeBron
TACKO FALL
Tacko Tuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuesday
MARC GASOL
Gasol In the Family/Gasol I Need
Better Call Gasol
ENES KANTER
Enes Envy
You Kanter, Go Home Again
MILES BRIDGES
Bridges Over Troubled Waters
I Would Walk 500 Miles/100 Miles and Runnin’
MO BAMBA
Bambas Over Baghdad/Atom Bambas/Nuclear Bambas/Bamba No. 5 (you get it)
TRAE YOUNG
Trae Bombs (or Trae Bambas, if you land both)
Forever Young
KAWHI LEONARD
Kawhi So Serious?
C.J. MCCOLLUM
McCollum, Like I See ’em
Here’s My Number, McCollum Me Maybe
MIKE CONLEY
The Long Conley
DEVIN BOOKER
Booker Smart/Crack a Booker
Stairway to Devin/Devin Sent/Devin Can Wait
DRAYMOND GREEN
It’s Not Easy Being Green (works for several other Greens, too, obviously)
Go Ahead, Make My Draymond
KYLE LOWRY
The Lowry Boys
JOEL EMBIID
Rosary Embiids
KEVIN KNOX
Hard Knox Life
JEFF TEAGUE
Out of Your Teague
Teague of Extraordinary Gentlemen
BAM ADEBAYO
Wham, Bam, Thank You, Ma’am
ANDRE DRUMMOND
Bang the Drummond
CLINT CAPELA
The Power of Christ, Capela’s You
A Capela Group
BROOK LOPEZ
Babbling Brooks
ROBIN LOPEZ
Robin and Stealin’
AL HORFORD
Dirty Horfords
COLLIN SEXTON
I Wanna Sexton You Up/Let’s Talk About Sexton/Safe Sexton/Unprotected Sexton
Your Body’s collar
Collin of the Wild
BUDDY HIELD
Bosom Buddies
Only Say the word, and My Soul Shall Be healed (for the Catholics in your league)
OTTO PORTER
Otto Erotic Asphyxiation
Otto Union
JAMAL MURRAY
Murray Convention (also works for Dejounte Murray)
Jamal About That Bass
KEMBA WALKER
Kemba Berries
ANTHONY DAVIS
Brow Chicka Brow Brow
Brow Beaters
LUKA DONCIC
Slam Doncic
Scatch My Doncic (which works with a lot of other
KARL-ANTHONY TOWNS
Boogie Towns Productions
Just a Small Towns Girl
MARVIN BAGLEY
Holding the bagley or securing the Bagley
R.J. BARRETT
Grin and Barrett
RUSSELL WESTBROOK
Russell Westbrookstone Brothers
The Russ Belt
Russ-ian Interference
DARIUS GARLAND
Double Darius, Truth or Darius
DEANDRE AYTON
Master Ayton
LONZO BALL
Havin’ a Ball/Kick in the Balls
Get Off My Lonzo
FRED VANVLEET
I Live In a VanVleet Down By the River
NICOLAS BATUM
Batum Goes the Dynamite
JAMES HARDEN
It’s hard Out Here for a Pimp
Go hard in the Paint
MALIK BEASLEY
We Want Beasley
Pimpin’ Ain’t Beasley
DE’AARON FOX
De’Aaron On the Side of Caution
Fantastic Mr. Fox
PASCAL SIAKAM
Dirty Pascals
Rock’em, Siakam Robots
MYLES TURNER
I Would Walk 500 Myles/100 Myles and Runnin’
A Real Page Turner
MALIK MONK
Monk’s Tale
Monk City
DE’ANGELO RUSSELL
There’s Always Room for D’Angelo
Beverley D’Angelo (Get Patrick Beverley, too, and you’re all set to pay homage to the Griswold matriarch from the “Vacation” movies.)
WILL BARTON
Barton Around
Barton Finks
TAUREAN PRINCE
Fresh Prince
JUSTISE WINSLOW
And justice For All
For the Winslow
ROBERT COVINGTON
Thou Shalt Not Covington Thy Neighbor’s Wife
OG ANUNOBY
The Last OG
DE’ANDRE HUNTER
Big Game Hunters
VICTOR OLADIPO
Office Oladipo
Hail to the Victors
Oladrip-o God
JULIUS RANDLE
Randle’s Messiah
You Can’t ignore the Truth
Too Hot to Randle
GIANNIS ANTETOKOUNMPO
Greek Freak Squad
JJ REDICK
Let’s Get Redickulous
Re-dick in a Box
LANDRY SHAMET
Gym, Tan, Landry
Landry Service
Shamet Wow!
DAMIAN LILLARD
License to Illard/Time to Get Illard
ERSAN ILYSOVA
It Ain’t Over Til It’s Ilysova
JEREMY LAMB
Lambs to the Slaughter
DEWAYNE DEDMON
Day of the Dedmon
Make it Dewayne
ERIC BLEDSOE
Ain’t Got Time to Bledsoe
JIMMY BUTLER
Butler Service
ALLEN CRABBE
Hermit Crabbes
WESLEY MATTHEWS
Gospel According to Matthews
MARCUS SMART
Smart Guys
TOBIAS HARRIS
Tobias and the Never Nu*es
Implicit Tobias
TIM HARDAWAY
Three the Hardaway
JAYSON TATUM
Tatum? I barely Know ’em!
DILLON BROOKS/KRIS DUNN
Brooks and Dunn
PAUL GEORGE
Rated PG-13
LAURI MARKKANEN
On the Markkanen
DEMAR DEROZAN
Fruta DeMar
GORDON HAYWARD
Carry on, my Hayward Sons
ZACH LAVINE
LaVineal Sins
LaVini Vidi Vici
MARKIEFF MORRIS
Chief Markieffs
KYLE KUZMA
Kuzma Control
DOMANTAS SABONIS
Sabonis Round
Praying Domantas
DERRICK FAVORS
Sexual Favors/Party Favors
Favors of Love
Favors in Your Ear
JAYLEN BROWN
Jaylen It In
LARRY NANCE
Sir Nance-a-Lot
Nance-y Boys
JRUE HOLIDAY
Jrue Hill
Jrue Life
TREVOR ARIZA
Ariza Con Pollo
RICKY RUBIO
RubiOMG
RUI HACHIMURA
Hachimura Sauce
CARIS LAVERT
24 Caris Magic
KEVON LOONEY
Looney Tunes
KLAY THOMPSON
Klaymation Domination
TERRANCE ROSS
Ross Dress for Less
BRADLEY BEAL
Beal of Approval
End All, Be-al
Trained Beals
RODNEY HOOD
Boyz N Tha Hood
T.J. Warren
Warren Peace
Warren 2020
DION WAITERS
Tip Your Waiters
Wrong Hill to Dion
RONDAE HOLLIS-JEFFERSON
Case of the Rondaes
Christmas in Hollis-Jefferson
MOE HARKLESS
How Could You Be Moe Harkless?
Gimme Some Moe
RUDY GOBERT
Sweet Home ChicaGoberts
Gobert or Go Home
JOSH RICHARDSON
Get Richardson or Die Tryin’
KEVIN HUERTER
Please Kevin, Don’t Huerter ’em
Huerter is so good.
NIKOLA JOKIC
Jokic on You
DENNIS SCHRODER
Taming of the Shroder
STEVEN ADAMS
I Literally Can’t, Steven
KHRIS MIDDLETON/MALCOLM BROGDON
Malcolm in the Middleton
SPENCER DINWIDDIE
Spencer’s Gifts
TYLER HERRO
Herro Ball
Did You Ever Know That You’re My Herro?
MONTREZL HARRELL
Escape from Alcatrezl/Birdman of Alcatrezl
KEVIN LOVE
Stairway to Kevin
NIKOLA VUCEVIC
Deja Vucevic
PAUL MILLSAPS
Run of the Millsaps
LAMARCUS ALDRIDGE
Hacksaw Aldridge
ANDREW WIGGINS
Split Your Wiggins