Kerr Smith is detailing the professional and personal isolation he felt while portraying Jack McPhee on Dawson’s Creek. In his new memoir, I Don’t Want to Wait: My Life on Dawson’s Creek, scheduled for release on Tuesday, November 10, 2026, Smith reflects on the moment he learned his character was gay and the subsequent struggle to fit into the show’s established cast dynamic.
The actor describes himself as a “fifth wheel” during his tenure on the WB hit. While the primary quartet of Dawson (James Van Der Beek), Joey (Katie Holmes), Pacey (Joshua Jackson), and Jen (Michelle Williams) were viewed as direct extensions of creator Kevin Williamson’s own personality, Jack McPhee was a later addition. Smith notes that this structural divide created a sense of being an outsider that often mirrored his character’s own journey in the fictional town of Capeside.
The Wilmington Coffee Meeting
Smith recounts the specific logistics of learning about Jack’s sexuality during a coffee meeting in downtown Wilmington, North Carolina. Met by Williamson and writer Greg Berlanti at a “video village” location, Smith admits he initially feared he was being fired. Instead, the creators pitched the storyline that would eventually lead to the first passionate gay male kiss on network television between Jack and Ethan Brody in 2000.
The experience of being a queer television pioneer during a more conservative media era brought significant professional weight. As reported by The Guardian, Smith’s memoir addresses his past reflections on Jack’s storyline as a “personal reckoning.”
A Tribute to James Van Der Beek
The memoir arrives during a somber period for the Dawson’s Creek cast following the death of James Van Der Beek in late 2026. Smith includes a solemn tribute to his former co-star, alongside interviews conducted with other cast members to provide a multi-perspective history of the series. The book also features a 2025 interview with Van Der Beek, which Smith uses to help anchor what he describes as the “ultimate yearbook” of the show’s production.
According to Goodreads, the memoir serves as both a behind-the-scenes archive and a personal reflection on the legacy of Jack McPhee. Smith balances his pride in the role’s cultural impact with the reality of the “fifth wheel” hierarchy that defined his early years on the set, offering a candid look at the internal politics of one of the era’s most influential teen dramas.